On Us All

I'm rich beyond my wildest dreams.

I believe it to be true.

While the majority of the world searches for clean water and good food, I sit here with televisions and record players in every room of my house. Our refrigerator is full. The children are well kept and looked after. I have two different bottles of bourbon to choose from. Our dog is up to date on shots.  I am in love with my family, my fiance, and we want for nothing.

I feel like I am truly wealthy. In the American sense I am struggling, and yes, we struggle. I don't know different. But it takes a different meaning now. I am more grateful, more humble, more considerate, more open, more giving, more loving than I ever have been before. I have come from darkness, and I have been made to be Alive again.

I'm not anything. I'm not left or right, I'm not for or against, I'm not taking a stand or standing down.

I have always taught my children the smartest thing you can ever say is: I DON'T Know.  Because, really, all you ever know is is right here, right now.

I don't agree with our presidential administration on most things, but I want them to do what is right for our country and the world. Some of the best people I know voted for Trump, but I don't begrudge them for it. I know we can bridge views over differences. I know we can overcome.

I have often thought what I would do many years ago, protesting and marching. And, it's all happening right now, before our very eyes.  I don't know what to do.

I'm at a loss.

I can teach my children to love.  Those Christian values were instilled into me at an early age.  I regularly tell my 11 year old daughter: We should ALL strive to be like Jesus.

And I truly mean it.

He never hurt, or meant ill Will, or had an unkind word. No. Jesus accepted all, despite their prior history.

Our Statue of Liberty exclaims: Give me your tired, your weak, your poor, Your huddled masses....


Lest we forget..

A nation built on immigrants

A people who ravaged the Natives.

Let us all act with empathy and compassion. I am fearful of the world my children will inherit. Your kids. My kids. Our kids.

Voting for Trump means nothing to me. So many people are quick to say- If YOU Voted For Trump, you're THIS. Well, I know that isn't correct.

My son is Mexican. My daughter is Gender Neutral.  I have loved and lost across the entire spectrum of human emotion and experience.  It has deepened my experience of the human condition: one we ALL share.

I wish we could erase the labels entirely, because it really does not matter. All of these gross policies and bad dealings pull us further from each other, when really the only answer we need is understanding.

A very important person, long ago said  an incredibly simple thing: "Love Thy Neighbor As I Have Loved You." In this plain gift of a statement, we can understand there is no room for hate in our hearts. We can believe a great many things, but to love one another, truly, gives us  meaning in this chaos.

I have love to give. I have understanding to spare. And my heart is breaking for us all.

The Ice Cream Truck

For a myriad of delightful causes, my not quite eleven year old is indefinitely grounded from the internet.  On occasion I will allow her to watch YouTube with my supervision, and we enjoyed such an occurrence this evening. 

As luck would have it, my daughter can sing Emo tunes like a kid from the 90's.  Naturally, it is my sworn parental duty to introduce her to the dinosaur bands as tribute. 

Halfway thru Rocks Tonic Juice Magic, this freaking Ice Cream Truck is loud as shit, and keeps interrupting the music.

Mabyl says, "That's the Ice Cream Truck!'

And I respond with:

"Yeah, and it won't shut the fuck up either, will it?"

She makes a face, and maybe twelve seconds go by.

And it dawns on me she probably wanted an ice cream, and was totally over reliving what it was like to be Mom at 17, and so I spring to life and say:

"OH NO! I didn't mean to say that!"

So I give her the three dollars in my wallet.  I tell her she is very good.  I apologize profusely, but assure her we will NOT be driving to UDF.

Its too late of course.  The Ice Cream Truck is gone.  I tell her to keep the three dollars and that sometimes Mommy doesn't understand about Ice Cream unless you say you want the Ice Cream and I'm sorry she has a Mom like that.

Does she want to listen to more Emo?

No.

....but now I do.

She laughs at me, but I wonder.